Friday, September 30, 2011

Is Your Man Lying to You After His Affair? ? Prudent Articles

If you are struggling with the issue of honesty in your marriage after your partner had an affair, it?s only natural. In fact , you trusted him all those times he told you he was working late in the office or going out for a drink with his pals. Who is able to say what else he could be lying about? And has he changed his ways or is he simply saying that to placate you and smooth things over?

It is absolutely normal to be suspicious of him and what he tells you, and maybe that is causing some strain in your relationship. Perhaps he just wants you to accept that he?s going to be truthful from here on out and leave it at that. Maybe all your questions and prying is getting under his skin. Here is a bit of help for these types of relationship problems.

Transparency Is the Answer

The first thing you need to do is build a code of transparency between the two of you. The two of you must consent to be fully honest and forthright with everything you do. If there had been an affair in your relationship, then there had been probably not very much transparency in your relationship, you can undoubtedly benefit from this.

Now, you both need to make a commitment to doing this. This isn?t just something that your partner needs to do to ?prove? himself to you. You both have to do this or else it will come off as some kind of punishment or humiliation for what he did. Even if you?re very angry at him and you want to punish or embarrass him, you?ve got to understand that that kind of behavior isn?t going to assist in making your relationship better in the long term.

Define the Emotional Triggers of Deception

We each have our own unique things that will cause us to feel as is we are being lied to. Perhaps for you it is when your husband all of a sudden closes a window on the computer when you walk in the room, or when he?s late coming home from work and doesn?t tell you ahead of time.

What you want to do is talk with him and ensure he understands the specific things that make you feel like he?s hiding something and not being utterly transparent with you.

He, on the other hand, has to come out and tell you the places where he felt the necessity to be secretive about things in your marriage.

Then the two of you need to change roles. Even if you did not commit any form of infidelity, have you been being secretive in any fashion towards your husband? Regardless of whether it is withholding emotions or thoughts. Remember that transparency should be a two-way street if this is going to work.

If you found this helpful please check out the other articles?to learn more about forgive a cheater or talking to the other woman.

Source: http://prudentarticles.com/relationships/affairs/is-your-man-lying-to-you-after-his-affair

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